Whether or not you’ve have kids, you're probably aware that delivering one ain’t easy. What about the hardships that come after birth, though? Tons of new moms keep quiet about how challenging it is to care for an infant, but one woman challenged that silence when she aired her frustrations on the UK parenting site Mumsnet.com last week—and got a slew of empathetic responses.
Titling her post “I Hate My Baby,” the anonymous mama promised readers that her child is safe with her, but she is at a loss for how to handle his behavior. “He cries all day and all night he sleeps a total of around 4/24 hours all day the rest of it he is crying,” she wrote. “He cries when I’m feeding him. He cries when I’m holding him.”
The mom said she’s tried everything to help soothe her son, but nothing has worked. “I’ve tried keeping him close and I’ve tried getting him used to being put down. I’ve tried white noise. I’ve tried a jumperoo. I’ve tried swaddling,” she continued. “I’m always consistent with what I’m trying but nothing helps.”
Later in the post, the mom said the last five months with her son (who is her third child) have been torturous: “I honestly feel like climbing out my window and jumping, if it wasn’t for my other children I probably would. Help me. I know other people have been through this. What Can I do?”
The callout didn’t go unanswered. Hundreds of responders replied with advice for the struggling mother, including the best sleep positions for babies with reflux (which her son has) and recommendations for allergy tests that might shed light on the cause of his ongoing discomfort. They also pushed her to pressure her doctors for help, since the mom said they never take her complaints seriously, brushing her off with the explanation, "Babies cry."
Sweetest (and perhaps most surprising) of all were the kind words the mama received from her fellow Mumsnet users. “I remember how soul destroying the endless nights of no sleep felt,” wrote one commenter. “You’re not doing anything wrong,” wrote another. Yet another replied, “Massive hugs as you need it. I’ve been there. It’s sh*t but you CAN do this.”
The takeaway? Feeling frustrated by your newborn doesn't make you a bad mother. And if you’ve ever felt less than obsessed with your kiddo, know you’re not alone.